You vs Your Mind Machine

Are we really at the mercy of our own minds ? Is our mind our conscience ? Is it more ? is it always right ? If you answer yes to this question, it could be part of your struggle with anxiety. 

When you’re in a funk or setback, whatever you want to call it, notice the majority of what your mind produces. Is it negative evaluations, predictions of the worst possible kind ? There are several reasons for this, which I will elaborate on shortly.

Having a full understanding of the relationship between you and your mind couldn’t be more important to your mental health. 

First things first, who are you ? Do you really know who you are ? I didn’t exactly. Do you know why you have these unsettling  feelings or scary, negative thoughts ? Is it you, your mind, or some other monster that is drumming up these unwanted worries, anxieties, feelings, sensations (bodily). Why ?

My understanding is there is an observing self ,which is you, and there is also your mind which belongs to you, but which is only a part of you. Your mind is not you. It is more of an assistant, background processor but likes to get involved with everything. The sooner you fully understand that the better.

When I write observing self I mean the person (me) behind my eyeballs, observing and registering the present moment, though I can space out a lot listening to my mind (this can be good or bad). 

I am the recipient of the entire experience, what happened based on my perception of the images, words, word relations, emotions, feelings served up to me. These all get filed away in my memory for retrieval later on.  Your mind plays a role here, as a thought producer and of course initial evaluator.

These thoughts are not always things you would like to hear but not hearing them or shutting them out is not possible.

Think of your mind as a resource for crunching data, problem solving, thought creating, evaluation making, all in an effort to protect and serve you.

The mind evolved to really do two things, solve problems and protect us. Now depending on how you think about your mind, it may be doing a good job or a not so good job of this.

How you (behind the eyeballs) respond to your mind are usually based on the feelings, and thoughts you think are being served up to you, and you are sometimes helplessly on the receiving end of it. 

You are never helpless, you have control. If the thoughts are not pleasant our bodies produce chemicals which get triggers our nervous system to get involved, both parasympathetic and sympathetic. This is normally associated with the fight or flight reaction and then the calming down of your Nervous system. The sympathetic part is where the struggle starts.

Our bodies have not evolved as quickly as society has. We are no longer cave men and women, who need this adrenalin to jump out of the way of a saber toothed tiger. 

 For example, if our minds were in tune with us, it would figure out that we want to feel good all the time so that we can react properly to today’s demands on us. In the case of Anxiety, by not producing so much of it would certainly protect us better given the effects of what too much Anxiety can cause some people. 

Understand that the mind is not always right or serving you optimally. This is why you must filter your mind of the thoughts. How can it be so fast ? when it takes us so long to make a good decision ?

Notice the thoughts your mind is producing, and act accordingly. Ideally some of the time you end up taking its advice, sometimes not. Yes and the trick is deciding this. This is what ACT will teach you.

Our mind cannot be reasoned with. It is output only. It does not read input from you (observing self).

Any of your attempts to fool your mind will not work either. It will do what it will do.

 The best you can do to change the mind’s output is to change your behavior. The mind can draw from that and you have control of your behavior. I understand this is the difficult part but the tools you will learn will help with this.

What is important, is you have the choice to decide your behavior and much as the pull from your mind will seem to try to convince you otherwise. This is where understanding comes in.

Know that your mind is not your enemy and your mind is not you either. It is only trying to protect you. Bad thoughts and feelings are not your fault nor is it your mind’s fault. Don’t look for blame here.

For you and your mind to cohabitate, you need to accept what your mind is producing no matter what, welcome or invite it all in and thank it. Then you can decide what is in your best interest and act accordingly.

One thing you will learn is the distinction between the mind’s thoughts and your thoughts. As you become better at that, you’ll be able to handle the seemingly important distress signals your mind is giving off (falsely or not).

Be kind to yourself and to your mind. Give both you and it the care you would give to a wounded child.

Believe it or not your mind only wants the best for you.  There are several layers to what the mind produces. It will produce a thought, and then provide another indicating it must be true also. It may even follow with the thought, ‘oh just be sad about it’s hopeless’. These are all just thoughts. They are not true. I understand while all this is going on, your body is not making it easy on you. 

How to keep your cool is another part of ACT. Suffice it to say, stay with it, be in the present moment, accept whatever your body dishes out, and don’t try to change or fix anything. This means your thoughts, feelings, sensations.

Don’t be impatient with your thoughts, feelings, sensations they will pass. Just know that they will. That’s how your body works. The two parts of your nervous system turn on and off the adrenalin automatically. Practice will show you that.  As you begin to realize this, take it to heart, your mind will play less negative and more positive, making it easier on you. It learns just as you (observer self) do, but it still wants to protect you and knows the couch is a pretty safe place.  More on this in Tools and Tips.